I Cry For Good Pictures

Have you ever had the feeling
That something’s going wrong
Amidst the tears of laughter all around you
Your heart is softly strumming a sad song

Have you been blinded by temptation
Or  drowned in deep sorrow
Did you hear a voice within you calling out
There’s a fire in your heart that’s getting cold

Take a look
Jump out of your skin for a moment
There’s something deep inside
That don’t feel right

Reach out
call out to the Heavens
ask God to help you out
it only makes you stronger
when you cry

       It happens almost every day, sometimes more than once a day, sometimes more than once an hour. It's that moment of complete despair. Something happens, someone said something, something is going wrong.... again. Inside our minds we're screaming, but outwardly we've just given up. We sigh, and continue on our daily lives loading up piles of heavy burdens on our shoulders, responsibilities, guilt trips, stress, stress, stress. Meanwhile we're still participating in a society of constant expectations, so we continue doing the same robotic things we do every day, because if we don't.... well they might find out...... they might know..... they might see right through me.... they'll know I'm a mess.....  they'll know i'm not so strong..... they'll know I'm sad inside.... they'll know I have no idea who I am...... they'll know I feel so disconnected from myself..... and from Hashem..... so I continue doing what they expect me to be doing......

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS?????

    We weren't created to be robots. Imagine someone had a nice expensive camera that took really professional nice pictures. It cost about $3,000. Imagine he gives it to someone and they use it as a plate. Yeah, they put their scrambled eggs on it, and eat right off of it. They even wash it as a dish when they're done. Is that normal?? Now imagine, the person who used it as a plate then found out that this is actually a camera, and you take pictures with it, imagine their shock, imagine their joy, imagine the refreshing enthusiasm this person now has.. So he takes some pictures... and he is happy, but he gets used to it, and soon he is so tired of it that he even sometimes wants to use it as a plate again. He won't though because he'll feel stupid now that he knows it's a camera. But nonetheless it's a little bit getting robotic. NOW imagine... he learns how to click the button on the camera to take pictures, and he knows it's not a plate anymore, but then someone comes along and sees it, and shows him that it's a really really professional camera and he can do wonders with it and there's a million different settings on it, and there's so so so so so much he can do with it!!! Now imagine the man's joyous reaction to this great news! What he thought was a plate was really a camera, and what he thought was a camera and got a little bored of already, was actually the best camera! Something he can do so much with!!! He is full of joy!

     My point is, we're using our lives here on Earth, precious time, as a toilet basically. We flush it away to a place we will never see again, we trample it, we abuse it, we completely ignore it. Then we learn things about ourselves, about our purpose, about Hashem, about our relationship with Hashem, about our People, our brothers, sisters, we all learn new good things here and there... we find out more meaning to our lives, and we like the feeling but it's fleeting, it comes and goes, we get bored of it, we want to flush it away again, we try hard to stay at a level of normalcy where people and ourselves can assume we're doing good.

   But we're really not that mediocre!! We really all have so much in us, so much to show of ourselves, so much to discover, so much to explore! There are good things awaiting all of us, there are countless things we can do with our lives, there are many many different kinds of pictures to take. And yes, it's hard sometimes to pick ourselves up and out of the robot lifestyle because it's so easy, but if we would know how much we are capable of we'd be full of joy with a whole new opportunity in front of us. But how do we reach that point? How do we get out of the puddles of mud we're so stuck in? How do we face ourselves and not despair?
 

  R' Nachman says: "People mistake despair and sadness with heartbreak. Despair and sadness is in essence anger, a complaint against God for not giving us what we want. But heartbreak is a child crying because his parents are far away."\

      I think we need to cry more. Heart-broken cries. Cries that lead to tears of joy. Cries that help us find ourselves, find Hashemm, find life. But don't despair, don't get depressed, smile all the time. But once in a while make sure you realize how far we are from our Abba, and cry. Get to know how you feel when you actually think about how far we are. Work with what you find, and reach higher. Don't be scared of not being normal. Only dead fish swim with the current. We need to start realizing that most people have no idea what they're doing in life, and are just putting on shows, you can choose to be like that too, but I'd think of you as a toilet. Just one flush after the next, and again and again, and you have no clue where it all went. Get real, people, start living it up, in whatever way you can. Get close to Hashem! You'll see! We don't need proof, we don't need logic, we don't need opinions, we just need Hashem. Just jump in, use the camera, use it well.