BRAIN FREEZE

       Writer's Block. Brain Freeze. Blackout.
I seriously could not come up with anything. For weeks. I have so much I wanna say, yet I just can't. So of course, when it finally came to me, this is what it was.

   People sometimes make fun of me, others are amazed. But most people just have no idea. I'm talking about Hisbodedut, going out somewhere private letting go of all things you carry everywhere and plain and simple talk to Hashem time. What happens to most people when they first hear this concept is one of two things. Either: I daven every day, I don't need to go to a field to talk to Hashem I can talk to Him in my kitchen. Or: K, that's just too weird for me, not my type of thing!

   If I may, both of those are B.S. You know some people actually qualify for a degree in B.S. already. They're so overly experienced, they should just start a practice. Well, when you try it on me, I throw it back in your face. Here goes.

   So, remember that time that day, that you were completely confused for a minute who exactly you are and what life is about, cuz someone said that one deep comment and you ignore it at the moment but then later actually thought about it, and had to shake it off and like play a game on our ipod to distract your head from it? Also, remember that time when someone really insulted you, and you put on a whole show of yeah, i'm ok, its totally fine, it's from Hashem, but then you went home and binged on everything in the kitchen and wrapped yourself up in your bed with a movie and disappeared from your misery cuz it was just too hard for you? Or how about that morning when you woke up feeling not the greatest and then you went to work anyway, and no one appreciated the fact that you went to work sick, or that time you cleaned up and no one noticed, or the time you helped someone out and they just turn around and backstabbed you, or that time you were in shoprite and you helped an old lady get something off a shelf, and then you let a homeless person go in front of you on line, and then that other person was staring at you making you feel so uncomfortable and then you felt this whole weird Hasgacha Pratis story because on your way to the parking lot, the old lady, the homeless man, and the guy staring at you all were parked right next to your car, and it was just a peculiar feeling.

Okay, my point: things happen throughout the day, throughout our life. There are many people we could talk to, but frankly people are not so interested after a dramatic story to hear the less dramatic one. Yes, sometimes people will sit and listen. And that's beautiful. But imagine you could go to someone and say every single thing on your mind, and He actually hears, and it's not like talking inside your head you actually feel like you got a load off your shoulders, and you can breathe. Everything we go through is meaningful, every coincidence was meant to happen, every decision was left to you. It's all messages from Hashem, so when we get confused, or disoriented or frustrated, why don't people realize Hashem is right there waiting for us to come to Him? Whether you lock yourself in your room, or head out to fields, which by the way once you start looking for spots, there are sooo many great ones, (just don't steal any of mine. If you see my car parked, find another spot.) you have an immense valuable treasure lying at the tip of your tongue. When you start speaking to Hashem, in a voice like you're speaking to a close friend, and telling them your day, but with the innermost feelings and thoughts that you have, you start to feel a presence listening,. Sometimes, when you'r so broken, so full of heartache and pain, sometimes a scream will help. Scream with all your might, from the depths of your soul, scream to Hashem, our Abba, for He is the One who can actually take care of You. Hashem wants our attention. He wants our prayers, He wants our communication. Don't let out your screams on people around you, they did nothing wrong, no one did anything wrong, it's all Hashem sending you messages, and in the moment you might think it's people but when you clear yourself and head to alone time with Hashem, you'll realize that NOTHING ELSE MATTERS IN LIFE ONLY HASHEM.

Sometimes people say the get brain freeze, it's like they came here to do something, but they just freeze and turn around go home and forget they ever ventured out to do something so real. Let me help you out, with an example of a Hisbodedut. This is an example, there is no two Hitbodedut that are the same, here's an example, you do as you want. but DO IT!:

*walking slowly on a path through a field near a pond, picking leaves as passing by low hanging branches, crumbling them and lettimg them flutter to the ground*
"Hashem, (quietly), Hashem, hi." *thinks what to say* "Hashem, I don't know what to say. I don't know what I can possibly say to You. I'm just a nothing, You're everything. You give and You give and You give, You are Most Powerful Master of the World, CHai Vkayam. But Hashem, I don't even know You, I never think about You, I always forget You Hashem! That must be so painful for You Hashem! But I'm here. I came here to talk to You, and I'm gonna talk to You. I really feel weird, because I don't see You, Hashem! I don't see You! Every day I don't see You, You know how hard it is to live a life of not seeing our Creator who we talk about all day, who created us who loves us, and we don't even know where You are! But I know You hear me Hashem, right You hear me? *tears start slowly* Hashem! There's so much pain! Hashem why does everything have to be like this? Hashem, _______ has cancer, ________ is never getting married and I cannot deal with her pain anymore it kills me too much,_________ is going through such a hard time, she left Judaism then she came back and no one is accepting her and understanding her! Hashem how crazy is that, that people dump Yiddisheit, then they come back, and they have to try and fit in somewhere, Everyone should be running with open arms! Hashem what is everyone thinking? Don't they know what You want from us in life? Hashem why is everyone so twisted? I don't get it! At work today, my boss told me he wants me to stay late everyday and there is absolutely no objections. Hello? I don't understand, he thinks he can control me? Haashem only You! But Hashem, then I get confused because everything is from you, so maybe that was really from You, like how am I supposed to know... AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! ABBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! I NEED YOU! You're my father Hashem!!!!!! AAAAABBBBBBAAAAAA!!!!!!! I'm Your DAUGHTER!!! ABBA HOLD ME IN YOUR ARMS! Hashem, everything's so crazy, people are so sick, I can't deal with the pain, How do YOU Deal with the Pain? We cannot have any more pain down here Hashem, it's too much!!!!!!!!!! Hashem there's SO MANY PEOPLE in this world that You created SO MANY PEOPLE that NEED YOU! WE NEED MIRACLES! WE need the MIRACLE OF PEOPLE KNOWING WHO YOU ARE!!! ABBBBBBBBBAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What was I THINKING!!!! *sobbing almost not breathing* HASHEM WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!!!! WHY DID I SPEND MY ENTIRE LIFE WASTING IT ON RETARDED STUFF!!!! WHY DID I MAKE ALL THOSE BAD DECISIONS! HASHEM I"M SORRYYY!!!!!! hashem i can'tttttt i can't bear with the pain anymore, i can't hold all this inside me. Hashem I need you. Hashem that time that person did that thing to me, what should I have done Hashem? SHould i have stood there and taken it, or fought back? If i would've stood there, so I would've been like a robot nothing, and I would've gotten hurt, so it's good I fought back right Hashem? You wanted me to, I know You wanted me to, You were taking care of me, You were with me fighting back that time. THank You Hasehm. Thank you for always being there, guiding me, taking care of me, even though a lot of time I don't see You, I know You're there always with me. Hashem *sobs slowing down to confidence, and a wave of sunlight hitting your eyes* please watch over me and all the people I know. All the young boys and girls who have no clue what to do in their life right now, they got hurt, they're trying to find themselves in all the wrong places, the don't know what I know, I've been through that already, they don't know that the only way to get life back is to come close to You Hashem, until then they're all lost. Please watch over them, and please watch over my family and friends that everyone should have the strength to pull through whatever it is they need to pull through, and for the specifics...... and for my future kids, and my future hi=usband if I ever will find HIm. Hashem please watch over everyone, please bring Mashiach. Hashem I love You so much, thank you for showing me The way. I will go back and try to keep You in mind throughout the day, live with You in my heart and on the tip of my tongue. I LOVE YOU HASHEM! ABBAA!!!
*walks back confidently with purpose on shoulders, back to reality of busy hectic life, but with Hashem on mind*

So, yeah that's one example just to sample what you can say, you can say whatever you want, talk about one thing or everything or nothing. You can hum, you can cry, you can laugh, you can talk, you can lie down, you can whisper, you can scream. It all works.

Brain freezes will come to haunt you , so be prepared. Go ahead. Good luck!

Moving Forward by Looking Backward

"If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe" -Carl Sagan

    Who was Sagan? An astronomer. And a Jew. And once upon a time, a little boy who was amazed at the wonders of the world, and had questions, thoughts, and feelings about the vastness of the universe. And so, the little boy turned out to be a great astronomer, who added astounding information on planets and stuff like that to the compilations of things the world has come to know. Just like that. Bam, huge success story. Why can't we all be like that? I mean we're not all gonna be astronomers and rocket scientists, but we too look at the stars and wonder, yet no one i know has become an astronomer.

    We all have moments in our personal lives, where we wonder about the vastness of the world. Avraham did that, and look what came of it. We think, we look, we see, we feel, we do. But do we do? Or do we just think we do?  Recently I've heard a lot of opinions that were new to me. I went to speeches, heard people out, thought about things, eh who am I kidding, I don't think, I'm impulsive. So I sat down to try and get things together.

       So that quote on top of the page?  I heard a speech from Rabbi Skaist this week. In it he redefined "emunah peshutah" for many people. Sometimes people think emunah peshuta means I belive in Hashem, whatver, I feel it, I know it, I learned it, mostly based on feeling. But as he said we all know a time we've had a feeling, and the next week it turned into a nothing. Feelings come and go. So, he said what do is emunah peshuta based on? The belief in a mesorah. The belief that we got the Torah at Har Sinai and that it was passed down generation to generation til it got to me. So I believe in the mesorah which in turn connects me to Hashem.

     I thought that was beautiful because it's permanent, it's long lasting proof of our legacy, and it's applicable to our everyday lives. But then I started getting uneasy about it. I tried to connect to that concept of the mesorah and my parents and parents before them... but I really did not relate to it. I'm not necessarily that much of a logical person, so I was missing the feeling in it.... But then what happened, I started thinking of myself. Where did I come from? I am a living proof that generations before me existed. I could not have come into this world without a legacy of people fighting, living, laughing, dancing, building. I wouldn't exist! And the world as I know it wouldn't exist, because everyone comes from somewhere and even that somewhere comes from somewhere and it doesn't end til Adam Harishon.

      So basically, what I'm trying to give over here, and would like to spread the word about, is if you're having a hard time with Emunah, the Rabbi's say, don't try and feel it, that won't stay long. Believe in the Mesorah, in your past, in Har Sinai, and that will connect you to Hashem. But I want to talk to  those who can not relate to that concept. Do what I am trying to do. It's working for me. Took a couple days until the clarity came through, but I like this feeling. It's solid stable grounded, spirituality. Though it still hovers in the air, and that's fun. It's a feeling of I believe that a whole world of people one generation at a time starting looking backward with me and my parents and grandparents as far back as I know, and then each generation before them until Har Sinai, stood at Har Sinai, received the Torah, passed down the legacy for years and years and years, so what I learn, and see and feel every day, is in essence straight from Har Sinai, though with a bit of a shipping fee. The shipping fee, is somewhat of a blindness. A fog has settled somewhere in between generations. But we can clear it up. If you look around you and start to think. Think about how you wouldn't exist in this world had there not been people preceding you, think about the fact that you are here now, and that there are reasones for being here. Think about the future, what you'll send down the line. And then do. Act on it. Live a wholesome life, in whatever unique way you can. But don't ever forget where you come from. And don't ever forget Who is over you at all times, who has a Master Plan for you. Look back, see where you've been, see how you've become, and move forward towards a life of light filled joy.  Have a good week!

Letting Go Of The Past

"Your past is like a rearview mirror. It's good to look back once in a while, but if you stare too hard, you'll miss what's in front of you."

If every time the sun would set, one ray would stay afloat

If right after a flame goes out, one spark would cast a glow

If all the waves would crash to shore, but one would linger mid-air

If as the leaves were falling down, the branches would shed tears

Only then, would I believe, the past can yet remain

Only then, would I retrieve the memories, the pain

But since what goes down, stays forever, and slowly disappears

I know that every single thing I went through in all my years

Is gone forever, never ever going to be within my reach

I can only remember, only look back, and squash it... like a peach. 

          *sighhhhh* Letting go of the past................. Yup, it's a big one. A huge one. The One I Fought For Years Against And Swore I Would Never Do It And Then I Did It. I always promised others and myself too, that I would NOT, I repeat would NOT be like those people who screw up when they're teenagers, and then miraculously turn their life around and everything's all better, and blah blah blah. Back then, I hated those people. They represented a concept I couldn't relate to, they represented a world of hope, and back then... well there really was no hope. All I saw was darkness. When people would ask me how I saw my future I would really really try to see it, but there was just nothing. I never thought for a second, I would ever change. Ah, change. That's the word. Change lets you let go of the past. Some people stay in the same job, with the same phone number, the same friends, same house for years, and years, and years. If it's a healthy person we're talking about, that's great! The memories stay because every where you were back then, you're still there walking the same floor, dialing the same number. So you have a good healthy past in which you were constantly creating a good healthy future in which you currently are in. Every time you walk in the door, every time you sit down on the couch, good stuff floods your brains, and it helps you to keep going forward. But what if it wasn't healthy? And you stuck with it anyway? You know what happens? Maybe you do, maybe you don't. I do. I held on so tight. I would not let go. And so, the struggle continued.

           I know so many people who are holding onto their past. You may be one of them. You should know firstly, that I don't think I am completely out of the loop in this one, I do have my moments. But I don't like writing about things I don't actively work on in my own life. So, this is a thing I'm actively working on in my life, and I've gotten places. When you get there you know you got there. So let me try and explain what letting go does. 

          Picture a person sitting in a chair. A regular chair. This person is not paralyzed. This person can walk, breathe, talk, run, jump, dance, sing. Wait, this person is actually an acrobat. And a professional juggler. And, he also on the side happens to be a great conversational, outgoing, friendly person. He has many, many qualities, and many talents. He has a working brain, a working everything, yet he sits in the chair. Why is he sitting the chair? I'll tell you. One day, this Jack of All Trades was performing as an acrobat. He was on a high wire balancing his whole body on the tip of his pinky fingernail. Suddenly, he remembered he knows how to juggle, so he began taking off his buttons from his shirt, and proceeded to juggle them upside down on the wire hanging from his pinky fingernail. The crowd cheered him on. Next, he begins to sing while doing all that, singing an opera song using his lungs to their full capacity. And yet, he still remembers one more thing, he's a funny guy. So, he begins to crack jokes while singing, while juggling his buttons, while balancing on his pinky fingernail on the highest wire he could find. The crowd is applauding. .... and then it happens..... He falls.. off the wire, buttons flying in the air, his voice echoing in all directions, screaming echoes of a fallen acrobat. his pinky fingernail flies in the air, drifting until it lands on someone in the audience's suit jacket, and seeing it, they brush it away, to the floor. Our guy is doing a slow motion fall.... he's still mid - air... and THUD, he lands on a hardwood floor. All he's thinking is for what reason in the world is there not safe cushions under every wire on this planet. He is all bruised up. From head to toe. The people in the audience are kinda quiet. What to do? No one knows. Some medics arrive, and try to help him out, but he's so ashamed, he can't even begin to acknowledge the physical pain he's in. He had it all, his show was going great, and then BAM, he can't go on. He's numb. He looks at his bleeding body, and cannot feel. Some people in the audience are booing him, others are shouting at the booers, and there are some cheering him on to get up. He can't focus though. Things go fuzzy, he blacks out. Next thing he knows he's waking up in a hospital bed, with no real serious injuries, albeit plenty of cuts and bruises. The first few steps he takes are painful, but it slowly gets better, and easier. But he can't forget it. That fall. What if as he's walking on the sidewalk down the block, what if he falls flat on his face? What if when he goes up the steps to work, what if he falls down the steps? What if people see him fall? What if he falls alone? What if? What if? And so, he sits in a chair. He feels trapped, like there's handcuffs around his wrists and his hands behind his back, like a noose around his neck, and a constant tug pulling him tighter against the chair. And so, our person sits. For years, and years, and years, and years.

         If I were to tell you how many people I know who are living their lives like this guy I just made up, I don't even know if you'd be surprised. You probably know them too, or you may be one. I was that person, and I am free to admit it, and to acknowledge the fact that I am no longer trapped in the past Baruch Hashem, Thank You Hashem, It's all You Hashem. When you're in it, it's impossible to see that you can get out of it. It won't come to you. You have to make it happen. You have so much in you, and sometimes it's precisely those amazing qualities you have in you that make you fall, when used in it's negative form. Every character trait has a negative and positive side to it. You might have fallen using a quality you have in a negative light, but you can pick yourself up, or at least get the handcuffs off, by using that quality in a positive way. Everything has it's flip-side. What made you fall, can help you grow. And how do you go about doing that? GET OFF THE CHAIR. Get up! Let go of the past! Let it all sink away, deep down in the sea where pieces of the Titanic have been sinking for years. Let it go! Once you let it go, you can look back, and try to gain some clarity. Try to learn from your mistakes. But you first gotta get out of it. You can protect yourself sometimes, by staying in the same pattern you were in when you fell, but that pattern will not really protect you. It will numb you, it will make you think you're good, but you will not get anywhere in life. And if you're in a place where you don't even care to get anywhere in life, start caring. Because life is precious, and time is slipping away into the future. 

         Every person has in them the ability to pick themselves up, and start again. Let Go and Let God. Yeah, the AA people know something. It's just a matter of getting off that dumb old chair, which by the way eventually will break. 

         Spiritually speaking, which is really generally speaking, thank Hashem for your past. Whether it was good, semi good, semi bad, or horrible, thank Hashem. Ask Him to help you get out of it, make some changes, and let go. You can't ever go back, you're holding onto nothingness. Try holding onto a metal bar, you got a grip, but try holding onto thin air, it hurts. The past hurts. The future doesn't have to be planned. But the present must be lived, and in order to live it, you must let go of the past. Remember who you are, remember what you have inside of you. Don't let yourself or others hold you back, at the end of the day, it's you and Hashem, and whatever your relationship with Him is, He is constantly there for us, and we in turn need to trust Him, and move on. 

         THANK YOU HASHEM. 

There are no words I can use to adequately describe the joy of the freedom of letting go. It is redemption of the soul. There's a concept of personal Mashiach, which is a redemption of an individual from themselves, from their past, from the misery. May we all let go, move forward and bring Mashiach, AMEN.

            

 

 

Do I Care That I Did Something Wrong?

        Help. I did something bad. I really messed up, I don't know what to do. Do I go over and try to fix it or do I let time do it's thing, and it will be forgotten and I will not be held at fault? If I think about it for a second, yeah I do wanna try to fix it, but if I don't think about it, it can just disappear and I can make it like it never even happened.

       You know what I'm saying? Right, because it happens to you too. There's something sweet in doing something wrong. There's also something sweet in doing something wrong and totally ignoring it. I'm not making this up, R' Asher Freund zt"l used to talk about it. It's a certain toothy grin we get, and it also comes when we're having a bad day sometimes. It makes us not want to try and smile, because deep down, somewhere we don't even know exists in us, it is as sweet as honey to be miserable, and doing something wrong and not fixing it makes us miserable, hence the sweetness of it. So, if the thing I did was to another person, I have a chance as long as I'm alive to go and try and fix it. The person probably won't come to you though, to beg for you to fix what you did; if they do however, that is pretty G-dly. Which leads me to my rambling:

       Hashem wants a relationship from us. He wants it all day, all morning, all afternoon, all night. He wants us to know Him. He wants us to talk to Him. He wants us to believe in Him, He wants us to love Him. He started this relationship with you a long, long time ago, the second you were born. That is when you met. It took time, for you to learn how to walk, to talk, to eat, to think. To be able to relate to Him. Sometimes we think it's a one way relationship, we don't hear back from Him. But then we realize that we woke up this morning, and that coffee was really good, and we have all our things we have, and the weather is nice, and my car is really a cool invention, and I know some awesome people, and my job is great, and yes, even that deadly cigarette which I am trying to get rid of, was just awesome. Ha! I know, things are not all that great, I just only focused on good stuff. There's plenty bad, there's plenty that goes wrong. Coffee doesn't always come out great, sometimes we lose things we have, the weather is horrible, my car doesn't start, people are annoying, my job sucks, and, well I'm out of cigarettes. :) But if I'm reading this right now, I woke up this morning, and that means I have a chance to fix my life. 

         FROM THIS POINT ON PLEASE ONLY READ IF YOU WOKE UP THIS MORNING

      This relationship with Hashem I'm talking about, is the best relationship. You could be anywhere, it could be any time, and you have Him! He gives you great things, He gives you everything! But guess what, sometimes He makes it hard. Sometimes, He feels you're not putting much into the relationship and He lets you know. But how great is that! Imagine being in a relationship with someone, and you wanna make it last forever, you don't want it to ever end, but you know you might make it not work out. Imagine if that person never lets you go, they are always out for your good, for it to work. When you mess up they tell you how to fix it up so that you can stay in it. It's too easy. It's so beautiful. That's Hashem. I know it's a hard concept, because sometimes it's confusing, what, the weather's not good today because I did something bad yesterday? What kind of games are you playing with me Hashem?? So, instead of taking my word for it, you can probably find it in a lot of books with sources, and somewhere in the Torah itself, but I have no clue where, and I don't wanna put sources in due to my ramblings; I wouldn't want to distort any serious facts. But I do know that Hashem sends us messages, all day. And we know that a wise person needs just a whisper, while a foolish person needs some louder noises. But a foolish person is someone who doesn't take the time to learn, so if you're trying, and learning, you're wise. Can you hear that whisper? 

        So, we mess up. Because we're humans and it's natural. Hashem has rachmanus on us, so He gives us a chance to defend ourselves. How do we defend ourselves? There is no defense.  There is nothing we can say to justify what we did wrong. We can try and pacify ourselves, that it wasn't so bad, it could've been worse. But to Hashem there is no defense we can possibly bring. So what can we bring to Hashem? We fix what we did by getting closer to Him. By doing Teshuva. By moving forward. By facing our wrongdoings and not letting them rot in piles all over the country. By caring that we did something wrong. By showing gratitude to Hashem for everything. Through wanting to fix it, wanting to stay in the relationship with Hashem. Teshuva, Teshuva, Teshuva. It's so powerful. Remember Rosh Hashana? Remember the shofar? Remember the feeling? No? Close your eyes, sit down, think back, feel. Try. Let me tell you a story R' Levi Yitzchak of Berditchov shared about the Shofar.

There was once a king who's heart was sad. He went for a walk in the mountains, wearing plain clothes. All of a sudden he heard a beautiful sound coming from the fields. A beautiful melody, each chord struck another piece of his sad heart, making him happy. He followed the sounds until he came upon a shepherd sitting on the grass playing the flute. He asked the shepherd, "who are you playing for?"The shepherd answered, "I play for the king." "Did you ever meet the king?" "No." "Do you know what the king is like?" The shepherd answered, "The king is like a shepherd. I'm a small shepherd, I bring my sheep to the pastures to eat, I care for the, I guide them. The king leads the people, he guides them, he gives them to eat." "I am the king," the king replied. "And I want to reward you for making my heart happy. I'll get someone else to replace you as a shepherd, and you will come to live with me in the royal palace, I will get you golden robes, and all the riches in the world." The shepherd moved in to the palace. One day the Prime Minister of the Royal Palace, pulled the shepherd aside, and said "Tell me, what do you really think about the king? I won't tell anyone." "Really? Off the record? I think he's selfish, I think he is out for himself, I think he doesn't give enough to the people, I think he's cruel in his ways", the unfortunate shepherd replied. The Prime Minister ran to tell the king, of course who told him to call in the shepherd at once. "Shepherd! Look what I gave you! I gave you so much, you should be filled with gratitude, and you go and talk like that about me? In my very own palace? I want you sent to jail, and in three days, you can stand in the court and defend yourself." The day came, and the shepherd stood in court. He said, "my dear king, I have no words to defend myself. I have done wrong to you. There is nothing I can say to justify my wrong deed. All I ask, is that you let me play a melody on my flute for you." The king allowed him to play, and the shepherd began to play the melody he was playing when he first met the king. The king was so moved by the melody, and he said "Your melody has soothed my broken heart, it has made me happy again. I will have mercy on you, and let you stay in the palace."

     That is the sound of the Shofar, says R' Levi Yitzchak. It's a reminder that we care, that we acknowledge, that we want the relationship with Hashem. 

I knew a lot of songs made me further from G-d than closer

I ignored it for a long time, but finally did it

      It doesn't have to be Rosh Hashana, in order to fix our mistakes. If we do something wrong every day, we can fix it every day. The Shofar is the set alarm once a year, but we can make small Shofars every day. We can sing to Hashem, we can talk to Hashem, we can make Hashem happy. When you feel like you did something wrong to another person, ask for forgiveness, try to fix it up if you can. And if you did something wrong to Hashem, go quickly and remind yourself that you still want the relationship. Sometimes, bad things are good because they get us to remember that we want to be close to Hashem, and that we can fix it. But in order to remember that we want to be close to Hashem, we have to remember to remember. So, try and think of the shepherd once in a while, and think of some kind of flute you can play, some kind of melody, that will make Hashem happy, and help us stay in our relationship with Him. Show Him we know we're doing something wrong, we know we can technically just ignore it, but we care, we want to be in a relationship with You, Hashem, we're sorry for doing it, it was definitely wrong, and we won't do it again, we want to stay with You, and here's our little tune to make You happy again. Mazal Tov!

Now every song I listen to makes me think of Hashem

      

I Cry For Good Pictures

Have you ever had the feeling
That something’s going wrong
Amidst the tears of laughter all around you
Your heart is softly strumming a sad song

Have you been blinded by temptation
Or  drowned in deep sorrow
Did you hear a voice within you calling out
There’s a fire in your heart that’s getting cold

Take a look
Jump out of your skin for a moment
There’s something deep inside
That don’t feel right

Reach out
call out to the Heavens
ask God to help you out
it only makes you stronger
when you cry

       It happens almost every day, sometimes more than once a day, sometimes more than once an hour. It's that moment of complete despair. Something happens, someone said something, something is going wrong.... again. Inside our minds we're screaming, but outwardly we've just given up. We sigh, and continue on our daily lives loading up piles of heavy burdens on our shoulders, responsibilities, guilt trips, stress, stress, stress. Meanwhile we're still participating in a society of constant expectations, so we continue doing the same robotic things we do every day, because if we don't.... well they might find out...... they might know..... they might see right through me.... they'll know I'm a mess.....  they'll know i'm not so strong..... they'll know I'm sad inside.... they'll know I have no idea who I am...... they'll know I feel so disconnected from myself..... and from Hashem..... so I continue doing what they expect me to be doing......

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS?????

    We weren't created to be robots. Imagine someone had a nice expensive camera that took really professional nice pictures. It cost about $3,000. Imagine he gives it to someone and they use it as a plate. Yeah, they put their scrambled eggs on it, and eat right off of it. They even wash it as a dish when they're done. Is that normal?? Now imagine, the person who used it as a plate then found out that this is actually a camera, and you take pictures with it, imagine their shock, imagine their joy, imagine the refreshing enthusiasm this person now has.. So he takes some pictures... and he is happy, but he gets used to it, and soon he is so tired of it that he even sometimes wants to use it as a plate again. He won't though because he'll feel stupid now that he knows it's a camera. But nonetheless it's a little bit getting robotic. NOW imagine... he learns how to click the button on the camera to take pictures, and he knows it's not a plate anymore, but then someone comes along and sees it, and shows him that it's a really really professional camera and he can do wonders with it and there's a million different settings on it, and there's so so so so so much he can do with it!!! Now imagine the man's joyous reaction to this great news! What he thought was a plate was really a camera, and what he thought was a camera and got a little bored of already, was actually the best camera! Something he can do so much with!!! He is full of joy!

     My point is, we're using our lives here on Earth, precious time, as a toilet basically. We flush it away to a place we will never see again, we trample it, we abuse it, we completely ignore it. Then we learn things about ourselves, about our purpose, about Hashem, about our relationship with Hashem, about our People, our brothers, sisters, we all learn new good things here and there... we find out more meaning to our lives, and we like the feeling but it's fleeting, it comes and goes, we get bored of it, we want to flush it away again, we try hard to stay at a level of normalcy where people and ourselves can assume we're doing good.

   But we're really not that mediocre!! We really all have so much in us, so much to show of ourselves, so much to discover, so much to explore! There are good things awaiting all of us, there are countless things we can do with our lives, there are many many different kinds of pictures to take. And yes, it's hard sometimes to pick ourselves up and out of the robot lifestyle because it's so easy, but if we would know how much we are capable of we'd be full of joy with a whole new opportunity in front of us. But how do we reach that point? How do we get out of the puddles of mud we're so stuck in? How do we face ourselves and not despair?
 

  R' Nachman says: "People mistake despair and sadness with heartbreak. Despair and sadness is in essence anger, a complaint against God for not giving us what we want. But heartbreak is a child crying because his parents are far away."\

      I think we need to cry more. Heart-broken cries. Cries that lead to tears of joy. Cries that help us find ourselves, find Hashemm, find life. But don't despair, don't get depressed, smile all the time. But once in a while make sure you realize how far we are from our Abba, and cry. Get to know how you feel when you actually think about how far we are. Work with what you find, and reach higher. Don't be scared of not being normal. Only dead fish swim with the current. We need to start realizing that most people have no idea what they're doing in life, and are just putting on shows, you can choose to be like that too, but I'd think of you as a toilet. Just one flush after the next, and again and again, and you have no clue where it all went. Get real, people, start living it up, in whatever way you can. Get close to Hashem! You'll see! We don't need proof, we don't need logic, we don't need opinions, we just need Hashem. Just jump in, use the camera, use it well.

 

Shot Out To Yiddishe Mamas:past,present&future

There’s a park of green grasses with roses and daisies

Majestic, unreal, so picture perfect

And at the center, surrounded by gardens

Flowing so freely, so beautiful

Is a fountain, a fountain of love

Spreading it’s wisdom, nurturing soils

Breathing life into each precious seed

It doesn't let up as it gives of itself

Watering them as they blossom from seeds to trees

There’s something about a Yiddishe Mama, that makes her  attract every soul

The sun shines all over, but the warmth we feel most, is from the rays of a Jewish woman’s heart

Through kindness and love, laughter and tears, she stands as the pillar of the home

Baruch Ata Hashem, how grateful  I am Hashem, sheasani kirtzono

She sits near the candles as Shabbos arrives

Watching the flames shining bright

Her head bowed in prayer, her heart sings along

The tears flow, she can’t help but cry

They trickle down pages of a yellowed Tehillim,

 Slowly disappearing out of sight

As each one flies up, soaring straight through the heavens

And the flames, they burn brightly through the night

There’s something about a Yiddisshe Mama, that makes her  attract every soul

The sun shines all over, but the warmth we feel most, is from the rays of a Jewish woman’s heart

Through kindness and love, laughter and tears, she stands as the pillar of the home

Baruch Ata Hashem, how grateful I am Hashem, sheasani kirtzono

Challah, candles, and family purity, Sara paved the way

For the Shechina to hover so near

And Rivka in her kindness fed all the camels, 

Rachel cried for her children, for she felt our pain

And the greatness of Leah, shines forth through her sons

Thousands of years, yet we still feel their presence

For they've sparked for us an eternal flame.

Where Did You Get Those Shoes??

        I got a text this morning from a guy I don't even know who sends out texts of Breslev thoughts. It said the following: "Poor man doing Hisbodedus - 'Hashem please give me the seichel that I don't need shoes, or Hashem please give me shoes'"

      I don't wanna get into the whole speech that came flying through my brain when I read those words, simply because it's a train of thought that never ends, I was literally comparing it to every concept at every level going higher and higher, and lower and lower until I realized the ultimate concept this concept reminds me of, which is Hashem gives us everything, that even the desire to want something Hashem gives us, even the brain that thinks we want something He created. Then of course that thought led me to THE THOUGHT THAT ALWAYS COMES TO HAUNT ME: So what am I, merely a puppet being pulled by strings??

      But then, later on today I was talking to a friend, a person who I hold very near and dear to me, though we hardly see each other. She had a question, an ongoing question, for some reason it keeps coming up in her life, and her question was: Does belief come before knowing?

     I can't say for sure I understand exactly why she's asking this question, all I know is once it's asked it's a very big question that can spark up screaming matches between usually content regular voiced girls in a small quiet coffee shop near the railroad tracks. The reason I think this question can get people going, is because belief and knowledge are huge words. Every person has their own individual way of believing in something, and every person has their own IQ, their own intelligence pattern in their brain. So every single person will have a different opinion based on his/her different views, thoughts, thought processes, that led them up to the moment in which this question is asked. And no answer is right, because every answer is right, which makes right seem like wrong and then we think we're all screwed. I heard a story once that there was two men who were fighting over a piece of property, they both said it's theirs. They went to a Beis Din and the Rabbi/Judge said 'you're both right'. A third guy came along and said, 'but Rabbi, they can't both be right!', so the Rabbi turned to the third guy and said, 'you know what, you're also right'.
    
       Yes, that may seem like a totally retarded story, but at the end of the day, there is no right when it comes to what we think. Because we're all right. Which makes us all wrong. So what the heck am I talking about? I have no idea. I think what I'm trying to say, is based on the poor man's plea for either the seichel that he doesn't need shoes, or just shoes, we have a whole new thing to learn from. Many times, we think that what we know is what it is. But if you look back to a time where you thought you knew, and then it wasn't that, and then you realized that you didn't really know, then you can understand that maybe right now what I know is not really what I'm gonna know soon. That we have to ask Hashem to give us the strength to combat our minds, because our minds are our biggest enemies. We think and think and think, and then in one moment, all our thoughts could be completely different and everything I just thought doesn't matter anymore. So we come to Hashem and we say Hashem look at me I'm a poor man, I lack the wealth of pure knowledge about You, and Your world. I don't have that wealth. And everyone I know also doesn't have that wealth. We're all so poor, so lacking, and this is not a mashal, we really are poor, we lack the wealth of having clarity of Hashem's ways. So Hashem, You who I heard is so powerful and the Creator of everything, You who has all the wealth in the world, either make me know You, let me see You, or let me be at peace with the thought that I'm never gonna truly understand Your ways, and my mind is gonna play all these tricks on me, and make me think that I need to understand You, so give me the seichel to understand that it's just my mind. OR just let me know clearly.

       Sometimes, people think you have to know to believe, and sometimes people think you have to believe to know. But there's another word, and it's called connection. If you truly try to connect yourself to Hashem, not based on belief, not based on knowledge, just connect. The same way, when you sit with a person and you feel connected, it could be you don't even know them, you just feel connected, or you know them so well that you feel connected, either way we all know that connection feeling. We know how to connect in our own ways. Start connecting to Hashem, whether it's by believing, knowing, learning, yearning, or even telling Him "I have no clue if You're even there, and I might be talking to nobody right now, but if You're there, please help me connect". This connection (which usually takes more than a second to get to, and is very on and off until you have such a clear connection which might just be when you're really old unless you work really hard on it) completely erases THE QUESTION THAT HAUNTS ME, and also calms the commotion of the question my friend asked. Connecting to something is a start, once we're connected we can learn more, or feel more, but we got the connection, we have what to hold onto, even if we don't completely understand or feel it.

       So, I know this whole entire page may make absolutely no sense to a lot of people, but that's just because you either don't have the kind of spiritual ADD me and my people have, or you choose not to think too much. Either way, it's all good, my point of this whole thing was really just one sentence: If you don't have shoes, get to know why you don't have shoes, see if you really need them, and remember where you got them.

why should i smile?

 
    It's a question generally thought to be most commonly asked by teenagers going through rough times. But we all know that ain't true. Inside the heads of about 99% of adults, this question hauntingly swirls to the forefront  just about every time someone else tries to get them to cheer up. The teenager has many issues to deal with, many new feelings they don't know what to do with, many external pressures and expectations to stand up to. They kind of have an excuse not to smile, so let me excuse them, if I may. But adults? What even is an adult? We were all once teenagers. We already had the chance to sit and sulk, and if you missed it and were all smiley back then, well then, maybe try it for a day or two, and then snap back up to adulthood. It's so easy. Just sit and ask yourself Why should I smile? I have this thing wrong in my life, this person doesn't treat me right, that person annoys me, this person expects of me too much, that person doesn't love me, that person is ruining my life, that person is in my way, this person is sick, that person is emotionally messed up, I am clueless as to what to do in my life, I just don't care anymore. Just sit and think about all that for two days. Sulk. Sulk. Sulk. Yes, that's why adults who don't know why they should smile are still teenagers..................
                               
                                    SNAP OUT OF IT!

    We need to start smiling more. And no, not because it takes 5,389 less muscles on your face to smile than to frown, and no, not so other people should think we're happy, lest they know the deep, dark secrets we carry, the depression, the sadness, the despair, underneath all the layers of a picture perfect life. And smiling does not make sad things disappear. SO WHY SHOULD I SMILE? I'll give you a few reasons, let me break it down, and let me first say that I did not think about this before I started writing, it's just the way I work, so forgive me if it's not such an organized list, because I'm about to make it up. Please try and read this as relevant to your life as possible, because you cannot smile for the things I smile about and I can't smile for the things you can smile about, but we can definitely learn from each other.

1. Hashem created the world. Hashem created me. Hashem loves me. I am Hashem's child. I think about His love. I think about His Kindness. I think about His constant upkeeping of the world. I live in this world, and whether or not I understand how it all works, I know it's being taken care of. So, I smile, like a child who looks around at his parents, his siblings, his baby, his toys, and just smiles.
2. Hashem has given me so much. Since, the day I was born, I was blessed with countless things, whether they be a physical part of me, emotions, spirituality, good trips with friends or family, good times, good toys, good cars, good money, hands, fingers, toes, feet, shoes, clothing, makeup, good food, good weather, good roller blades. Good music, that part in the play I wanted so badly when I was in 6th grade. The $25.00 I won from a scratch off lottery ticket. So, I smile like a fat kid near the nosh cabinet, like a rich spoiled kid in a roomful of toys.
3. Hashem has put me through a lot of physical pain. Since I was born, I was blessed with boo-boos.. Don't try and stop me. It's all good. The first time I fell, I'm sure it hurt to scrape my knee, to bleed from my lip, I'm sure it hurt to fall off my bike, to fall down the steps, to fall up the steps, to get slapped, or beat up or pulled by the hair (that was the worst) by a bunch of siblings. It also hurt when I broke my toe, as a 21 year old, it was painful having bronchitis every other week, having pneumonia as a child, bee stings, mosquito bites, faliing, falling, falling, falling. Every time, I got hurt, though, there was a band-aid, a cream, a medicine, a doctor, a Hashem. So, I smile like a child getting a band-aid with Hello Kitty on it, after getting a paper-cut.
4. Hashem has put me through a lot of emotional pain. And yes, there's what to be thankful for in that. And I'm not just talking peer pressure, and insecurity. I'm talking, depression, low self esteem, being yelled at by everybody whether it's a teacher, a parent, a friend, family, principal, told by everyone you're no good. I made mistakes, I blamed everyone for everything. I sat in my room and cried for days, for years. I ended up on the streets, the emotions are indescribable. The anger, the confusion, the anxiety, the guilt, the horrors, the crazy. The I want to die. The There Is No Point Of This Crazy Stupid Life Its Making Me Crazy All I Am Is Numb And I Am Never Gonna Get Better And There Is No Hope And This Is Insane And Just Kill Me Or I'll Kill Myself, Screw This World I Hate It Get Me Out Of Here, the WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME G-D WHY WHY WHY???? The trying to get better, going to all the programs, getting all the help, trying so hard, getting somewhere than falling and thinking what was the point? But I know that every single one of those painful experiences has led me to where I am now, and where I am now there is hope, and there is life, and if I'm writing this or reading this, there is hope where there is life, and I am happy. I am truly happy that I went through everything I did, because I made it through and it has helped me in whatever way it has helped me, whether to understand myself, or others, or to be more knowledgeable in decision making... it was all for my good, and it helps me appreciate the good in life. By going through darkness you can appreciate the light. So, I smile like a convict who dug a tunnel for years from his prison cell, and finally broke out. 

    So, that's a few reasons to smile. A few concepts to think about. And we all know how powerful a smile can be. One person smiles, and unless there's really really grumpy people near him, the people near him will smile back. And that, my holy holy holy holy sisters and brothers, is why we should learn why we should smile.

Who Created The World?

    Sometimes I find myself in a casual conversation with another person I hardly know, and all of a sudden I realize we went way too deep. I find myself talking and talking on and on in what some people may refer to as a "spiritual trip". I never know what the right thing to do is, to continue on, maybe the person will receive inspiration, or maybe they have something to inspire me, or to stop the conversation short.
Usually, what ends up happening, is something of a short laugh that will emit from my throat without thinking much about it first, and I'll openly admit that I'm not sure if this is too much for the person, and the person usually responds in a not so sure way that it's totally fine. However, there are times when the receiver of my spiritual trips will actually turn to me and be like "tell me more, no, don't stop i need to hear this right now, i love it, and i have something i want to tell you to."
Because of those people, I have strengthened my faith in the human soul, the thrist of knowledge, the yearning for Truth, that us humans possess.
On that note, I would like to share with you a shtickel speech.
So, I've been learning a lot of new things, and I can honestly say that about 75% of all that I learn, I actually try to ingrain in me. Applying Emunah to my daily life is something I started working on about three years ago. Before that, I kind of had a vague sense of Emunah, there was a G-d, yeah I felt Him here and there, especially in the dark times, but in my head there was a sort of split between Hashem, and the rest of my life. However out of control I felt in those crazy times, that's how much I thought I was in control. I would cry out in pain, I would sink in despair, and make myself more miserable by blaming everything that went wrong on myself. Then I'd turn to drugs, or other distractions, to numb those thoughts, because there was a certain point where my thoughts would just end, because it didn't make sense to go any further. Because all I knew was a world without a personal relationship with Hashem. I was an atheist in a foxhole at times, but at others, I just played contently in the hole, completely numb, mindless, almost lifeless. I didn't feel a live. I remember, at a point where I had finally broken through the darkness, and my life was turning for the good, looking up at the sky, and realizing that I had not really seen the sky ever. I thought I was a nature person, but then I realized I was a selfish nothing person putting on shows for people, and even for myself. I had no clue who I was, no clue who Hashem was, no clue who other people were, and no clue what the sky was. After going through the downhill struggle of trying to find myself through psychology, and just mindless wandering, I finally got practical. Rosh Hashana, 2010 I sat down on the couch with a book called The Garden of Emunah. I started from the first page, and after reading about two chapters, I closed the book stood up and took it with me on a walk. I ended up by my friend's house. I knocked on her door, showed her the book and said "i found a book. learn it with me please". And that is how I first started getting motivated to learn more and more about Emunah, belief in Hashem, and that book led me to more books, which led me to more concepts like doing Hisbodedus, for real going out to the field whenever I could, and just letting go everything I hold in, talking to Hashem who Created me. Anyway, I can go on forever and ever, but I wanted to just give you an idea of how a concept of spirituality can become an actuality, a practical way to institute meaning in life. Pick up a book, find a friend, make it a thing. No one's gonna run after you, you gotta pick yourself up and be mikarev yourself. or you can just sit there in the foxhole, mindlessly eating your bagels and cream cheese for breakfast, sushi and pizza for lunch, and shnitzel sandwiches for supper. Dunkin Donuts and Starbucks can transfrom from places to relax and shut your mind, to a temporary Beis Medrash where you go with a friend and open your heart, mind, and soul to pages you will want to drink in, if you put yourself into it.
Another thought I want to share is something I got from a book called  Building A Sanctuary In The Heart . In it, the author gives a suggestion to write down on a paper what you think your Tikkun is, or something you want to remind yourself constantly to work on, and every fifteen minutes or so, take it out and read it. I took that as writing in my phone an alarm that will buzz every 45 minutes.
In this book, there was a beautiful magnificent story that I want to share.
The Chofetz Chaim, we all know was a big holy Tzaddik. Sometimes, we think of Tzaddikim as so perfect so pure. But how did they get to that point? They all have their own ways of what they did, to get higher and higher. The Chofetz Chaim sometimes felt he was lacking Emunah. On a scale with the average Joe on the other side it might look otherwise, but he felt he was low sometimes. What would the Chofetz Chaim do to regain his Emunah? He would open up a Chumash Beraishis, to the first page, first word. And he would start reading, Bereishis Bara Elokim... then he would ask himself "who created the world?" and he would answer himself, "Hashem." He would go on through each day, like this, reading And on the second day Hashem created.. and on the third day,,.and fourth and fifth... and he would ask himself who created the sky? the sun the stars the ocean the trees the animals, the fish, the sky? and he would answer himself, Hashem. Finally, he'd come to the sixth day. And on the sixth day Hashem created Man. and he would say Who created Man? Hashem created Man! who created me? Hashem created me! In this way the Chofetz Chaim would regain his Emunah.
This really really inspired me, and I doubled these two thoughts into one. Every 45 minutes my phone buzzes, and it says Who created the world? Many people in my life, including kids under the age of 3 and including adults over the age of 40 are aware of this buzzing situation, and we all answer Hashem, with a smile knowing we are keeping in touch with reality, and the real purpose of our lives. I share this with you because, we all at some point are just so out of it, so disconnected. Here's a real simple easy way, to try to connect consistently, daily, and continue on furthermore. May Hashem bless us all with the serenity to be able to realize where we want to go, and how to go about getting there.

Sparks

So many roads I’ve travelled
So many sights I’ve seen
Which ones will last forever
Which ones can make me me

I’ve searched and searched but could not find
The one that gives me peace of mind
Sometimes I throw my hands up in despair
Feels like I’m going nowhere

But deep deep down somewhere
A spark is lit inside my soul
Just waiting to be ignited
Waiting to make the broken whole

All my life I’ve been told lies
I believed the stories nobody buys
I let myself down ignoring my strengths
Gave in to my weaknesses refused to change

Now what am I left with, a broken heart, a lost soul
Who would’ve believed when I was born
This all was destined to be
Who could understand the hurt, the pain
The flashbacks coming again and again

But I know that deep deep down somewhere
A spark is lit inside my soul
It’s waiting to be ignited
Waiting to make the broken whole

Take Me Away

                     Take me away to a land of freedom 

take me away to a people of love

Hold me by the hand as we fly there together
 singing as we soar above

To the land, to the land, to the land of Israel

My heart won't stop chanting this song

To the land to the land to the land of Israel

I can't help but sing along

To the land of my Fathers 

And the land of my Mothers 

To the land of my Sisters

The land of my Brothers

Body and Soul standing together 
but one is not willing to stay

Says Body I need to be here for just a while,
 says Soul well I'm flying away

To the land, to the land, to the land of Israel 

My heart won't stop chanting this song

To the land, to the land, to the land of Israel 

I can't help but sing along

So torn, so confused can't keep up with myself, all I can do is pray

That one day very soon I'll pull everything together, and with G-ds help I'll be on my way

To the land, to the land, to the land of Israel

My heart won't stop chanting this song 

To the land, to the land, to the land of Israel 

I can't help but sing along

Hurt

     Let me start by saying Baruch Hashem I no longer feel this way. Even so, I felt the need to still go ahead and post this due to the fact that people need to empathize with others that are going through things like this, and the only way to truly empathize is to really try and step into their shoes. Not based on facts of their lives, but emotions they feel. We need to tune in to others, to be sensitive, even though we may think they're wrapped up in their pain, which may be true, we can try and start unwrapping the tight blanket of misery, and the first step is to understand. With that in mind, may we all never have to endure the pain of no one knowing you are hurting, and may we all reach out to those who are hurting and lend them some band-aids. Through this, we become family, through this we become a nation, one, united to serve Hashem.

I’m hurting

I’m hurting

and there’s nothing else to do but sing a song,
 a lonely song about how

I’m hurting

Can’t you see behind these blank brown eyes

The puddles of tears held back by a dam called pride

Don’t you know, don’t you know, the anger I let show

Is a cover up for my super sensitive soul

I’m hurting 

I’m hurting

I’m hurting, I’m bleedin from the inside

I’m hurting, and it feels better when I hide

But it still hurts

'Cuz I’m hiding my true feelings 

But  when I let them show some people don’t believe me

And it feels like I’m goin round in circles

Running from the same old hell for way too long

But all this time, I keep on trying, keep on standing strong

On the outside but inside me is still torn

Can’t you hear the soft cry of my soul

 Begging silently for a better tomorrow 

Don’t you know, don’t you know  what it feels like

To hurt so bad inside for the millionth time

I've been waiting for the clouds to part

The sun to shine its warmth down on me

And I never tire of gazing at the stars

But  all these thoughts and all this pain

It keeps on hurting again and again

And the clouds they keep together

And the sun hides from my face

And the stars they sadly wink at me from far

I’m hurting

I’m hurting

and there’s nothing else to do but sing a song, a lonely song about how

I’m hurting

Simchas Beis Hashuavah in the Forest

I can’t help but feel

I can’t help but know

I tried to turn away

But You did not let go

Cry

Cry

Cry from deep inside

Feel yourself go so high

And just cry

See the children dancing

See the people smiling

See the feet flying

See their spirits soaring

Cry

From deep inside

Asking myself why

Why, why, why, why, why

Don’t let a minute pass you by

Don’t let a minute waste by

Every minute I wasted

I can’t help but to

Cry

Asking myself why

How did I let You go

Why

All I can do is cry

Cry

It hurts so bad

I wish it never had to happen

I wish I saw before what I see now

If I could change the clock

I’d start all over

All I could do Is cry

See the women living

See the tzadikim davening

See the people

Just, just, just, just

Cry

I, got no other words

All I could .. cry

Cry deep inside

Don’t let a second pass you by

Hold onto your Father up High

Don’t let a minute pass you by

Without asking why

Cry for the lost

Cry for the near

Cry for the ones who fear to come too near

Cry for the helpless

Cry for the hopeless

Cry for the end of this pain

Cry for the past

Cry for the present

Cry

Keep on dancing

Keep on singing

And I’ll just cry

Yavo alainu mashiach ben david

No more tears will be cried

Cry

No more tears will be cried